Presence is a concept with a lot of cultural currency. It’s the stated goal of most every meditation session or yoga class. It’s the expressed hope of therapists as they counsel couples to attend to one other’s needs. Presence is so present, in fact, that the word seems in danger of becoming cliche.
One way of listening again for its meaning is to pay attention to the preposition that follows the noun. Most of us are familiar with the exhortation to be present IN the moment. To dwell fully in whatever situation we find ourselves. This is the type of presence exhibited by Mary in this week’s scripture. The scene of her washing Jesus’ feet is filled with perfumed scent, tactile sensation, restful pause. While busy Martha bustles around, Mary stops to immerse herself in the Divine Presence at her table. To be fully present IN a moment, it seems to me, is to be slowed down and open enough to receive the God who is right in front of us. Not easy.
And then there is present TO. In this other common use of the word, we are encouraged to see the needs of the other. A doctor who is present to their patient listens carefully and looks up from the computer screen. A friend who is present to us simply shows up when needed. In these situations, presence is gift that comes with no expected return. It is a simple and radical act of love. God’s love enacted toward the other.
Neither of these types of presence – in or to – comes easily in our modern society. Both require slowing and the discipline of attention. As Erin observed this Sunday, both require letting go of productivity and expectation in favor of being wholly (or holy!) surprised. To be present is to relinquish control, recognizing there are larger forces at work. To be present is simply to be.
I feel like somehow, even before smart phones, Jesus knew this was always going to be hard for us. That we were always going to be flitting off elsewhere, fretting over the past or planning out the future. Perhaps this is why, at some point, he boils it down. Two commandments, he tells us, that’s all. Be present IN: love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. Be present TO: love your neighbor as yourself. No further instructions. Nothing about stopping or starting, making or managing. Just two simple requests, two ways of being. And from this, all else will follow.
-Susie Pratt